Dating my daughter rule 1
Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object.However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck.If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi .Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chain saws are okay. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home.
You'd throw your shoulders back and wipe your clammy paw against your sweater in anticipation of his too-firm handshake.
Please don't take this as an insult, but you & your friends are complete idiots, if you show up at my house like this I will force you to leave.
Rule 4 : I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing the "barrier method" of some kind can kill you.
Rule 1 : If you pull into my driveway and honk, you better be delivering a package because you're sure not picking anything up.
Rule 2 : You do not touch my daughter in front of me.
RULE 4 I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you.